John Shore

Archive for the ‘entertainment’ Category

Another Exceptional Painting Bought at a Thrift Store

In Business, entertainment on July 27, 2008 at 9:10 pm

click picture twice to enlarge twice

Here’s another original work of art I bought at one of the thrift stores my wife operates in her capacity as Director of Finance and Thrift Store Operations (!!) for Community Resource Center, a nonprofit organization located in lovely Encinitas, CA.

The painting is done on what I believe is goat skin—making it a great painting and a great drum. This is easily the best sounding picture I’ve ever thumped.

The painting is unsigned, and measures, frame included, a mere 9 x 11 inches.

The colors just pop with that kind of primal intensity of hue that makes so much folk art so viscerally impactful. The work is infused with appreciation and even gratitude for life. It’s such a vigorously sentimental affirmation. It makes me think of how heavenly life can be right here on earth.

  

Related piece: Speaking of Orignal, Heartbreakingly Perfect Art I Bought At a Thrift Store

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Speaking of Original, Heart-Breakingly Perfect Art I Bought at a Thrift Store …

In entertainment on July 26, 2008 at 3:01 pm

click on the picture to enlarge it; click again to enlarge again

 

Oh, sorry: we were (here) talking about the Muhammad Ali painting I bought at an auction, not art I bought at a thrift store.

Well, the above is an original painting that I bought at a thrift store some two years ago for ten or fifteen bucks. I like it so much—I find it so deeply moving and exquisitely composed—that I’m almost embarrassed to show or talk about it here.

You know how you take to heart the art you love so much—and then feel kind of vulnerable around it. This, for me, is one of those pieces.

All my life, I’ve been congenitally Deeply Focused upon—not to say obsessively engaged with—the whole Outsider/Insider universe of human interpersonal dynamics. Who’s “in”? Who’s “out”? Why? What’s it like to be either? Why’s either good? Why’s either bad? Who’s getting hurt by either, and why, and what can they do about it?

Anyway, this, to me, would be all that, in fifty by sixty inches of perfectly calibrated color.

The painting is by one Alejandro Lucas Debonis. I have no idea who he is. I would like to, of course, if only to write and thank him. But Google offered up little to nothing about ol’ Alejandro, and so he remains, to me, a mystery.

But what he had to say with this painting—or what it says to me, anyway—is as known to me as the very beat of my heart.

 

(Related/follow-up post: Another Exceptional Painting Bought at a Thrift Store)

 

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Who Used to Own This Furniture?

In Politics, entertainment on July 12, 2008 at 8:56 am

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Favorite Song of the Houseboat People?

In Family, Travel, entertainment on July 10, 2008 at 3:49 pm

 

(For the record, those are Actual Homes, located on the street right behind where my wife works.)

Other polls: Confusing Kids About the Future in 1952, This Vanity Plate Confuses Me, Brilliant Work of Modern Art, or Actual Garbage?  

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First Dorothy! Now Me!

In Science, entertainment on July 4, 2008 at 3:05 pm

This socially maladjusted tree, which grows right next to my parking space in our apartment complex, hates me. It purposefully drops all kinds of Tree Detritus on me, attempts to trip me with its outsized roots, and brazenly encourages the flying monkey-type birds who do its evil bidding to rain offenses upon my poor little Ford Focus.

I don’t know what to do. I mean, just look at this angry arboreal! Is there any doubt that it belongs to that same family of trees who once so appallingly harassed a certain young lady from Kansas who wanted nothing more than to get back home?

What is with this Twilight Zone apartment complex my wife and I have moved into??

(Think I’m kidding about our apartments? Think all that’s really happened is that I bought a new camera last week and am clearly too lazy to venture more than forty feet outside my apartment to get any decent, normal photos I could use for my blog? Really? How interesting. Well then see, if you dare, my recent, utterly traumatizing posts, John Wayne’s Ex-Wife’s Smiling Gelantinous Fish Log, and/or Cat Exploited For Viewing Pleasure In Apartment Zoo! But remember: you’ve been warned.)

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How John Wayne Proposed To His Third Wife, Pilar (plus a pic of her Bananas Flambe!)

In Food, entertainment on June 5, 2008 at 8:15 am

First I shared with you Pilar Wayne’s recipe for Salmon Mousse (which, obnoxiously, I referred to as “Smiling Gelatinous Fish Log”), taken from her book “Pilar Wayne’s Favorite and Fabulous Recipes,” which I found in the laundry room of my apartment complex. Now, from that same book, I share with you (verbatim, exactly as it appears in the book) Pilar’s account of how The Duke proposed to her. Here is that excerpt:

In 1954 Duke was filming a movie called “The Sea Chase” with gorgeous Lana Turner in Kona, Hawaii and John Ford was filming “Mr. Roberts” with Henry Fonda and Jack Lemon in Honolulu. Although there was a distance between the two locations they always found a way to get together, either in Kona on the big island of Hawaii or in Honolulu.

One morning just at the very end of the filming, the telephone rang, it was Duke’s lawyer, Mr. Frank Belcher, to tell Duke that his divorce from his second wife had become final after a long and unpleasant court trial.

Duke ran into my room saying, “I’m free, I’m free, please marry me today.”

Mary St. John, who happened to be with me at the time said “great, but we have to find her a dress.” Duke came over to me and grabbed me and kissed me and said “Mrs. Wayne, you better look gorgeous tonight, and don’t you forget it. You girls worry about the dress I’ll take care of everything else. We’re going to get married at sunset to the music of the ‘Hawaiian Wedding Song’ and tonight we’ll fly to the Royal Hawaiian Hotel for our Honeymoon.”

Mary and I dashed out of the house in search of a Wedding Dress. It was November First and I was in seventh heaven. I felt like the whole thing was a dream and I did not want to wake up. We found a lovely soft silk organza dress, and on the way home I picked some wildflowers for my hair.

The custom there was the groom cannot see the bride until the ceremony, so I waited in my room and could hear everybody having a great deal of fun. I thought sunset was going to take an eternity that night. I could hear everyone as they gathered by the ocean, and only a big wave could quiet the laughter and talk of the people there. I also wondered who they could all be.

Finally, I heard this small knock at the door, it was John Farrow, the Director of “Sea Chase,” who was going to give the bride away. John said to me, “are you ready?” I said “Oh John, I am so nervous I will probably fall right into the water, so please keep and eye on me, for I have never been happier. I love Duke so much.” He sai, “Don’t worry, I’ll watch for you every second, and I know that Duke loves you very much too.” Then out we went, me holding on to his arm for deal life. I looked straight ahead through all of those people and saw Duke looking at me with a faint smile. All my fears disappeared and from then on everything went smoothly and easily. …

The ceremony was breathtaking, we exchanged our vows just as the sun was setting. There were hues of pink, red, and lavander when we were pronounced man and wife.

The Hawaiians mixed beautifully with the cast and crew from the “Sea Chase” and danced their typical dances and played various instruments till dark.

We cut the Wedding Cake (this one recipe I did not pay much attention to.) We changed our clothes and left Kona on our way to still another small reception at the Royal Hawaiian Hotel in Honolulu.

As I am writing this book I can not help but think how everything we do is connected with food. I love the expression “Breaking Bread Together,” it means friendship, love, and so many other things. Our whole lives revolve around food, and naturally you eat with the ones you love or like.

–From “Pilar Wayne’s Favorite and Fabulous Recipes,”  PAX Publishing Company, 1982

 

And here, finally, before I return the book to my laundry room, is a picture of Pilar’s certainly delicious Bananas Flambe:

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Backstage With The Blind Boys of Alabama

In Religion, entertainment on May 4, 2008 at 4:04 pm

 

The Blind Boys of Alabama. Jimmy Carter’s on the far left. The guy who looks like he’s yawning, Bishop Billy Bowers, has a voice of such arresting intimacy it stops their shows.

 

My wife Cat and I recently went to see The Blind Boys of Alabama. The group’s lead singer, Jimmy Carter, has a voice like a mint julep infused with the rawest moonshine. (Yes, it is that Jimmy Carter: in between hammering away for Habitat for Humanity and solving the Middle East crisis, our former president is an old blind black man who fronts a gospel singing group. How he pulls this off is a mystery known only to God and Jimmy’s make-up artist.)

Being in the show’s audience was at times a tad uncomfortable, insofar as it was clear just about no one present came into the show knowing that The Blind Boys are a gospel group. Most thought they were going to see hardcore rural blues—acoustic, field holler, juke-joint type stuff. And in a real sense they did get that. But mostly what they got—what in fact they got with every single song — was pure, unabashed gospel.

Oh, no! Young, organically-inclined, ganja-friendly white people adorned with hemp-cloth shoulder bags and wearing sandals, macrame-berets, and yoga pants having Christian songs sung at them!

Not good. Not what they showed up for. Expecting low-down funky blues; getting hands-up joy in the pews.

When the word “Jesus” first came roaring from Jimmy’s reedy, bourbon-cured vocal chords, I could feel people around us sort of freeze in mid-groove. Did he just say, “Jesus”? It was like a record had skipped; for a split second it threw everyone off the rhythm of their happy rasta-hop. Makes sense. If I went to see a gospel group, and they started singin’ about pimpin’ and robbin’ jewelry stores, I, too, would feel a stammer in my step.

But everybody got right back into it. They’d probably misheard the word “Jesus,”, or it didn’t really have much if anything to do with the song. No worries.

Then Jimmy very distinctly sang the word “Jesus” again.

People quit committing so much to the physical expressions of their pleasure, and started listening more, particularly to the lyrics. What the heck was going on? Was this some kind of … Christian show?!

Four songs into the set, the hemp crowd was looking downright disgruntled — whereas the previously clandestine Christians in the crowd were now waving their hands in the air like they were at an old-time travelin’ tent revival. In no time, they had unexpectedly gone from being the old and square ones, to being the hip  ones!

Seven songs into it, nobody cared who was old, or who was hip, or who was Christian, or who wasn’t: All any of us knew was that we were listening to music as rip-roaringly, foot-stompingly, soul-rattlingly fine as music gets. No one resisted the gospel that night. I believe some folks were converted that night.

After the show, Cat and I were invited backstage to meet the BBA. “Now remember,” their manager warned us, “you can’t just stand around and smile. You gotta go right up to ‘em, touch ‘em. They’re blind.”

“Cool,” I said. “Finally, it’s proper  for me to touch people I don’t know.” Cat, sensing I’d probably say something just like that, was already headed back stage.

“Wait up!” I said, waving goodbye to the manager. I totally saw her pick up her pace. “Don’t touch anyone without me!” I hollered. She practically started jogging.

Like most backstage areas, this one was pretty dismal: couple of couches, a mini-fridge, a table holding a little spread of cold cuts, chips, veggies, dip. Nothing you wouldn’t find at a frat party.

I espied Jimmy Carter sitting alone on one side of one of the couches, his folded hands in his lap. He was still wearing the highly stylin’ seersucker suit he’d performed in. I sat down beside him.

“Can you tell I’m here?” I said.

“Not only that,” he said, “I can tell you need to go on a diet. Unless you’re about seven-foot eight, you obvious lardass.”

No, he didn’t say that. He screamed for his manager.

“He told me to touch you,” I said. “Should I do that now, or wait for him?”

But I jest. In reality I put my hand on Mr. Carter’s arm and thanked him for bringing us all a little closer to God that night.

Basically, I went around the room to each one of the guys, and thanked them, and chatted with them a little about the quality of what they do. Cat did the same.

Worked for them. Definitely worked for us.

 

Related-type posts: My Name Is Not Pato Banton (about the night I went to see reggae star Pato Banton at the same club where we saw Blind Boys) and My Private, Difficult Conversation with Chrissie Hynde.

(Oh, and don’t bother hitting the WordPress-generated “possibly related post” below. All it leads to is three lines saying the Blind Boys are coming to the blogger’s town.)

 

21 Things About Bob Marley

In entertainment on April 1, 2008 at 5:56 am
bob-marley.jpg 

 

Lately I’ve been thinking about Bob Marley, and thought people might find interesting these little bits about him:

1. Bob’s father was a 50-year-old white British naval captain named Norval Sinclair Marley. His mom, a black country village girl named Cedella, was 19 when Bob was born at 2:30 in the morning on Feb. 6, 1945. Imagine how happy Cedella’s father was to find out his daughter was sleeping with an old white man named Norval. Imagine how thrilled Norval’s family of racist colonialists was to learn the same thing.

2. Norval instructed Cedella to name her new baby Nesta Robert, and so she did so. “Robert” was the name of Norval’s brother.

3. Nobody knows to what or whom “Nesta” referred. Whatever it was, Norval insisted Cedella spell it right. Then he moved away.

4. When Bob was a little kid, he had a knack for deeply spooking people by successfully predicting their futures by reading their palms. At seven, having just returned to his rural village after a year spent living in the ghettoes of Kingston (Jamaica’s capital), he declared that from then on he would cease to read palms. His new destiny, he said, was to become a singer. For the rest of his life, whenever someone who knew him back when asked him to read their palms, he refused.

5. A Jamaican immigration official once suggested to Bob’s mom that “Nesta” sounded too much like a girl’s name. So they switched his name to Robert Nesta Marley.

6. “Tuff Gong,” the name of Bob’s recording lablel, was a nickname Bob earned for himself in the Kingston ghetto of Trenchtown (so named because it was built over an old drainage trench) for being exactly the wrong guy to screw with. Ever.

7. Bob was a devout Rastafarian. Ras Tafari is the name of a man who was crowned King of Ethiopia in 1930. With the crown came the honorific name Haile Selassie. Rastafarians thought this Conquering Lion of the Tribe of Judah was the messiah, come to redeem the black man. (Although true believers hold that all people are welcomed into the arms of Jehoveh — whom Rastas call “Jah.”) Though doctrinally a legitimate sect of Orthodox Christianity, Rastafarianism can be extremely difficult faith for non-Jamaicans to fathom. The one thing everybody does get is that Rastafarians smoke dope and wear dreadlocks (which put dread in the heart of the oppressors, see). Old Testament devotees, the Rastas smoke because Psalm 104:14 says: “He causeth . . . herb [to be grown] for the service of man . . . .” Their hairstyle comes from Leviticus 21:5: “They shall not make baldness upon their head.”

8. Nobody really knows what the word “reggae” means, or how it originated.

9. When Bob was twenty-one he lived in Delaware for 7 months. During that time he worked the nightshift at a Chrysler plant, drove a forklift in a factory, and worked as a lab assistant for DuPont Chemical (!). When he was a kid, one of his regular chores was to hike five miles through rugged country to fetch firewood. Work was never a problem for Bob. He was famous for making his band rehearse hours and hours after any normal person would have dropped to the floor.

10. Bob, who married a beautiful Trenchtown Sunday school teacher named Rita when he was 21 (and stayed married to her until his death did they part) had an untold number of kids by an untold number of women. The general estimate puts the number of Marley’s progeny at around 20. The way he could tell his children, he said, was by the way they spoke out of the sides of their mouths, like he did.

11. Bob’s mom had a child by Bunny Wailer’s dad when they were all living together in Trenchtown. That’s how close Bob and Bunny were.

12. Bunny Livingston (a.k.a. Bunny Wailer)’s given name is Neville O’Riley Livingston. (One of the original members of Bob Marley and the Wailers, Bunny was Bob’s brilliant percussionist, and a splendid back-up and lead singer.)

13. Peter Tosh’s given name was Winston Hubert McIntosh. “The Toughest” was murdered in his home on Friday, September 11, 1987, by a 32-year-old hoodlum acquaintance of his named Leppo. (Tosh was a guitarist in The Wailers, and a very important reggae singer/songwriter in his own right.)

14. The first record Bob cut was called “Judge Not,” on which his name was misspelled as “Bob Morley.” Working at the time in a tin shack as a “master welder,” Bob, 17, spent most of his pay in a rum-joint jukebox up the street in which his song was a selection. He played his record so often that finally the owner of the place yanked the record out of the jukebox and demanded that Bob leave, and never come back.

15. When Bob discovered that the reason he was still poor after being so famous for so long was that his long-time manager and friend Don Taylor had been robbing him blind, Bob beat Don to within an inch of his life. Then he fired him.

16. In July ‘73 Bob and the Wailers opened a week of gigs for Bruce Springsteen. Later that year they joined a 17-city tour of Sly and the Family Stone’s. After four shows, Sylvester Stone fired them for being too good and hogging all the adoration.

17. For a long time Bob drove a BMW — which, as far as he was concerned, stood for Bob Marley and the Wailers.

18. Bob was a brilliant soccer player. Played a wicked game of ping-pong, too.

19. Bob once said: “America is pure deviltry, dem t’ings dat go on there. Dem just work with force and brutality. Dem lock out the punk thing because they see something happening. So the oppressors bring another man to blind the youth to the truth, and dem call him-John Tra-vol-ta.”

20. Bob died of cancer (brain, liver, stomach, lungs) on May 11, 1981. He was 36. In one day, 40,000 people filed past his coffin as his body lay in state in Jamaica’s National Arena. And that’s just the number of people who got inside.

21. One of Bob’s most popular songs, “No Woman, No Cry,” is sung as a lullaby to babies all over the world.

 

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“Penguins, Pain and the Whole Shebang” Sold to Korean Publisher

In Religion, entertainment on March 16, 2008 at 8:32 am

One minute you’re staring vacantly at your computer fleetingly wondering how long it’s been since you blinked, and the next you’re reading an email from your agent telling you that a Korean publisher has made an offer on one of your books. That’s what I’m happy to say happened to me, anyway.

My book Penguins, Pain and the Whole Shebang: Why I Do the Things I Do, by God (as told to John Shore)” (I know: long title) has been sold to Seoul, South Korea-based Miraesa Publishing. (I don’t know much about the publisher besides what’s at that link and that they’re Joel Osteen’s Korean house.)

When the book comes out they’ll mail me five copies. I will put them on my shelf next to my five copies of the German-language edition of Penguins, which I also can’t read.

Penguins was one “Send” button away from never getting published at all. Every mainstream and Christian publisher known to man had rejected it. The ABA (American Booksellers Association) publishers had said they loved it, but were afraid of it angering Christians. (”I personally love  this book, but pissing off Christians is always more trouble than it’s worth,” commented an editor so famous it’s a testament to my agent she even read  the thing.) They also said they had no idea how to market it. (Can’t blame them there, either: Penguins is the only book I’ve ever heard of that cannot be classified as either fiction or nonfiction. Tru dat!) The CBA (Christian Booksellers Association) publishers said they couldn’t touch Penguins  because it put words into the mouth of God. (And then, of course, five or six of the Christian publishers who had seen and rejected my book on those “blasphemous” grounds immediately published books of their own that also put words into the mouth of God — but were written by authors much more famous than I. But do I think those publishers read my book, saw an idea that worked, and then paid another writer to write a knock-off of it because they knew they could make more money off that author than they could off Totally Unknown me? Does every day of the week in in “y”?)

For about a year I had carefully tracked every publisher to whom my ABA agent, my CBA agent, and I had submitted Penguins. The total was at 71 publishers. There basically was no publisher left who hadn’t rejected it. My agents had reasonably given up on it months before.

In the wee hours of one morning I sat deeply slumped in my office chair, staring mindlessly at my computer, trolling, as had long become my habit, for any publisher, anywhere, with any credibility whatsoever, who hadn’t already seen and bounced my book. Through blurry eyes I saw that I had come across the website for Church Publishing, Inc. They had a little area where you could punch in a question to them. Instead of a question, I dumped the entire proposal for my book into that blank white square. I didn’t care. I knew it was hopeless anyway. And I knew — I really, right there, felt the truth of it — that this would be my last attempt to get Penguins published. I wouldn’t submit it again. It was over. There was virtually no one left. My book had failed.

Turns out this guy read the email I so sloppily sent at 1:30 a.m. that night.

And now here it is, three years later, and I find out that besides having come out in German, Penguins is also coming out in Korean.

That movie was right. Penguins really do know how to survive.

How to Make Money Writing For Single Atheists With iPhones Who Hate Dieting Christian Homosexuals Who Love Britney Spears

In Food, Health, HowTo, Religion, entertainment, technology on February 16, 2008 at 12:11 pm

Cool. That should bump up my page views.

(Oh, no. At first doing that seemed so funny — but now I sense its Impending Obnoxiousness. Because you know people really will open this post — and then go, “Oh, wow. Now I so hate this guy.” And I hate it when people hate me. Not because I have any psychotic desire to be loved by everyone, but because I so care about people that it causes me pain when they’re wrong. And not loving me is about as wrong as wrong gets. What’s not to love about me? I … I … I’m pretty tall, which can be darn handy in a high-shelved room, let me tell you. And in the front of my hair I have a balding pattern that many children find delightfully hilarious. And … um … I’m easily amused, so around me just about anyone feels Majorly Entertaining.

Man. That’s a pretty thin list of appealing qualities. Maybe I should … buy a mini-toupee. A toupatch. Anyway, if you were lured here unfairly, please allow me to point you to one of my Actual Posts, which I promise will be funny and assuage your resentment at being cyber-duped. [Try my very recent, Totally A-OK Funny, or Unacceptably Un-Christian? YOU Be the Judge!, if you will.  How To Be Unemployed is pretty yukkalable. Less funny but surprisingly popular was/is How To Make a Living Writing. My most popular post to date is Six Tests to Determine If He's Mr. Right. One of my personal favorites is The Story of My Life. And I'll shut-up now.]

To my regular readers: Um … please consider continuing to not hate me. To my fellow WordPressers: I’ll let you know if:  a) view-wise, this Actually Worked, and b) If the people who run WordPress decide they’ve finally had enough of my grinning mug.)